Integration of Self-Compassion into an Evidence-Based Parenting Program for Bereaved Families

This proposal will describe the integration of self-compassion practices into an evidence-based BPT program for bereaved families. Bereaved children and parents have an elevated risk for a wide range of problems including depression and long-term complicated grief. The evidence-based program is the parenting component of the Family Bereavement Program, a program that has demonstrated long-term effects to reduce child and parent mental health problems and distressing grief 15 years after the program. Many of the positive program effects were found to be mediated by improved parenting.

Many bereaved parents experience high level of distress, grief and depression. Self-compassion practices may help bereaved parents regulate their emotions so that they can effectively engage in learning and using effective parenting skills. As described by Kristin Neff, there are three components to self-compassion: self-kindness, awareness of the self as part of common humanity, and mindfulness. Self-kindness involves the expressed intent to be kind to self in times of suffering. The program teaches brief exercises in which parents are asked to treat themselves as they would treat a good friend who was suffering. Parents also are asked to practice finding kinder thoughts as alternatives to unkind thoughts that they may have, such as self-blame or hopeless thinking. Common humanity is addressed by the group format; interacting with other parents likely leads parents to feel that they are not alone as they cope with their bereavement. Finally, a brief mindful breathing exercise is taught and is used in the beginning of each group session. It helps parents to learn to observe but not react their feelings and thoughts, anchor themselves in the present moment, and calm their mind. Throughout the program, parents are asked to use mindful breathing when they have difficulties using the parenting tools.

One goal of integrating self-compassion is to enable parents to not avoid their distressing thoughts and feelings but to be compassionate to themselves, find alternative thoughts that help regulate their emotions, and enable them to engage in learning and using the effective parenting tools, such as increasing positive family activities, using active listening, and developing effective rules. The program is being evaluated using a quasi-experimental design to assess effects on quality of parenting, self-compassion, mindfulness and child and parent mental health problems and grief in 4 community agencies with about 90-100 parents. Some preliminary data will be presented concerning the relations between parents’ self-compassion and mindfulness with parent grief and mental health.