ECPN poster contestant: How Mindfulness Moderates the Association Between Desire Discrepancy and Satisfaction

How Mindfulness Moderates the Association Between Desire Discrepancy and Satisfaction

Healthy sexual relationships contribute to couples’ relationship health and stability (Yeh et al., 2006). Desire discrepancy, when an individual desires more frequent sex than they engage in (Willoughby & Vitas, 2012), is negatively associated with relational stability and satisfaction (Willoughby & Vitas, 2012). Although differences in sexual desire may be more normative and less concerning in newer relationships (Willoughby & Vitas, 2012), individuals in long-term relationships are more likely to expect regular sexual experiences and feel greater dissatisfaction with desire discrepancy (Willoughby & Vitas, 2012).

Mindfulness may moderate the association of desire discrepancy with relational and sexual satisfaction. Because women generally feel lower levels of desire, mindfulness may be especially useful in moderating the association between desire discrepancy and sexual satisfaction. Mindfulness is also associated with better communication and may improve relational functioning (Boorstein, 1996; Karremans et al., 2015; Wachs & Cordova, 2007). Consequently, mindful individuals create a more accepting climate and engage in more intimate emotional communication, which may alleviate some negative outcomes of desire discrepancy.

Thus, we hypothesize:

1. Desire discrepancy will be negatively associated with relational and sexual satisfaction.

2. Mindfulness will moderate the association between desire discrepancy and relational and sexual satisfaction; the association will be stronger for individuals who are lower in mindfulness.

3. There will be gender differences in associations of desire discrepancy and relational and sexual satisfaction.

Men and women (N = 320; 94% Caucasian, 51% female; age 30 to 60 years old; M = 45.3, SD = 6.8) completed online questionnaires: (1) Mindful Attention Awareness Scale (15; α = .87 women/ .79 men); (2) New Sexual Satisfaction Scale (12 items; α = .94 women/ .91 men); (3) Couple Satisfaction Index (4 items; α = .82 women/ .79 men); (5) Desire discrepancy, calculated as the difference between actual sexual frequency and desired sexual frequency. Independent variables were centered. We used multiple regression to test our hypotheses

Results confirmed Hypothesis 1; Desire discrepancy was negatively associated with relational and sexual satisfaction for men and women. Hypothesis 2 was partially confirmed; The association between desire discrepancy and relational satisfaction was stronger for individuals who were lower in mindfulness. Hypothesis 3 was also confirmed; Mindfulness moderated the association of desire discrepancy with relational satisfaction for men and sexual satisfaction for women. Mindfulness may be a useful tool in dealing with desire differences in committed relationships.